Levels of terror

I remember being scared by the Lovecraftian horrors of the original Alone in the Dark game.
Today, film reviewers are scared of the recent adaptation. But for different reasons:

  • Washington Post: “Supremely idiotic.”
  • San Fransisco Cronicle: “So mind-blowingly horrible that it teeters on the edge of cinematic immortality. “
  • The New York Times: “So inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn’t release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash. “
  • Entertainment Weekly: “Far be it from me to dismiss a man’s effort (Uwe Boll) in a sentence, but the film on your teeth after a three-day drunk possesses more cinematic value.”
  • The Hollywood Reporter: “One of those rare instances of a movie being so bad … it’s still really bad.”
  • New York Daily News: “No better than whatever you might pick up while wearing a blindfold at Blockbuster, even if you happen to reach into a trash can.”

And they say games don’t make for good cinematic material…
See more reviews at Metacritic.